Stepping Stones of Faith
“Faith is an action that requires you to wait on God to reveal how to act.”
Two years ago, I found myself standing on the edge of the water. I knew I had to step forward, but I saw nowhere to step. Just black water, and ahead of me was dense fog. I tried to imagine what might be revealed if the fog cleared. Putting all my energy into the unknown made me spin, and eventually, I took a deep breath and looked down. Finally, there was a stone that I could step on. It was big enough and not too far away. But, where there was dense fog before it had cleared just enough to see it, I stood there still, unsure. If I step on this stone, will the fog hide this safe place on the edge of the water? Will I be able to go back if this step proves to be the wrong one? Fear had a hold on me. I didn’t trust myself at all to tune into the Father’s direction for my life.
What was driving the fear? After making a list, it all came down to one thing: a fear that God wouldn’t land me somewhere better than I was now. That the saying "the grass isn't greener on the other side" would prove to be true. I feared I would have regret for the choices I was making right now. I didn’t believe that I mattered enough to have a life full of love and safety.
As I say that now I realize how irrational that is. God never leads you to a place that has an end. Even in a pit, He makes a way to climb back out. All experiences, both good and bad, have a purpose.
Times of poverty and times of abundance.
Times of solitude and times of relationships.
Times of anger and times of gratitude.
So I took that first step to the only stone I could see. I stood there watching the dense fog cover the water’s edge, and my “safe” place was no longer visible. This stone was full of pain, sorrow, anger, rejection, but also safety. I was now in God’s hands. I felt confidence rise up in me. Then the fog lifted, and the next stone was there. This one was slightly bigger than the last.
Even in the thick of it, I still followed. This process changed how I prayed. I started to pray for the next step to know it was the right one when it was revealed. I no longer worried about how I would find the provision to do what was being asked of me. I no longer worried about who might be there to help me. The few times the next step was not what I prayed for, I quietly asked Father to change my heart to align with His. He gave me confirmation because He knew I needed that to know I was still tucked up under His wing.
Now I am many stepping stones in. I’m probably standing over the deepest part of the lake. I have no more fear. How can I when at the right moment God lifts the fog just enough to see the next stone? Consistently he has shown up for me, and consistently I have followed. It took time for me to have peace about where my life was headed. I had zero hope for my future.
Even though I can’t see the future and I don’t spend my energy trying. My focus is on the stone I’m standing on now and the gratitude of how the heartache of my past has brought me to this very place. How can I be ready for the next one? Each stone brings a new heartache and a new challenge to place in God’s hands. Faith does not come easily, and it takes a "pressing" for the sweet oil to be expelled so it can flow through your actions and into your journey. It can not be bought or gifted; you must allow yourself the space to grow this part of your life. Faith is a muscle that gets stronger when you use it and nourish it.